vanila sky.
no. it was evening. late dark sky.
something was on my mind. i had been thinking of it a lot lately and before i knew what i was doing, i spoiled the quiet moment and blurted out, "Panu nga kung naging tayo..?". It was him originally keep on asking me that question somewhere between that day earlier. i didnt reply to any. I struggle to laugh hard soon after, to again put on my mask. It was easy to be very unplanned. Im such a pro and I hate it.. He then laugh with me. We laughed uncontrollably for minute (or was it?i dont know..) on end.
After laughing particularly hard, a silence settled over the two of us. Neither of us felt the urge to say anything. Nothing needed to be said though. And it was way off better.
silence still. I was having a hard time looking at him. So i kept my eyes on the path in front of me instead. "Bye." I felt like a little part of me was broken inside saying that word (or was I the one who said it? cant remember..), as our fingers brushed, entwined and at the last moment decided to let go..
Watcing him go, I couldnt help but feel like I was losing him at that very moment..forever. As he take his ride home and disappeard from my sight. I told myself again that no one ever said it would be easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.
seeing him that night, I tried to memorize every detail about him.. Thinking maybe one day, I would forget. And that would be the day I’ll know I had trully lost him. Or maybe, just maybe..
like what in the line from the movie vanilla sky said:
"maybe in another life when we are both cats.."
I can be braver. and where we can both be..
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