in love.
im getting there. almost. but you spoil things up.
bye.
melancholic
Sabi nla at sa ilan kong nabasa when we are in love daw, everything
around us is perfect. bad hair days and other likes are nothing. we feel
happy, light-hearted..contented. we ignore the heat of the sun, the
traffic, the loads of our daily responsibilities, ever annoying daily
meetings at work, parents every morning lectures and everything that used
to irritate us.
well, its been a long time since iv once felt those..
sad pathetic little me that was the girl i used to be..hahaha
i remember being really mad this morning to this driver. pinababa niya kc
ung pamilya n mukhang pulubi n sumakay. ‘wala nmn pambayad mga yon..’
sabi niya. i see how (i assumed) the tatay humiliated look been so
defenseless for his family account.. he just smiled then tell his kids
not to worry for they can ride another jeep..while the irratated faces of
his kids flag no hope. this scene moved me. ive gone mad. mad to myself.
how do i let it happen. why i did not rant over the drivers face til hel
give that group a ride. why i didnt lend a fare fee for them instead..nd
so many endless posibilities i mayt did. but end up ranting here. hay..
wala.
actually ndi nmn un ang isyu ko.. i dont know. i was just about to write
something whatever popd on me while listening randomly to alternatives.
kanina nasa mood ako ng moving on theme.. whatever. iv moved on already. flip. rewind. awhile ago, i was tempted. tempted to taste forbidden slice of friendster. account that i forbid myself to view. but gave in to it.
i eat it whole again. there. just like a switch. it flashes days back then.
i am now lonely. hes not.
love is blind. love is so misleading.
and i am sober..all that is serve to me. no longer will i drink again.
im a blogger first.
i don’t update my blogspot syt that often anymore. im a blogger first, it was my baby back then.. back in the days where i was really hook to beautify it, back where i coherently teach myself up to learn basics of html tru blog stalking.. i miss those days. As i browse my archives back then (takes me 8 passwords errors just to logged in), i learned how lame then my entries are.. (now even hehe). I switch to multiply bcos it caters to more updated environment on net, one that doesn’t prompt errors only Bill Gates understands.. unlike blogger that just screws up my entries.
now, it still the same errors kept on prompting! did blooger ever tried to fix it? i want to restore my old entries back! i dont have anymore time figuring these stuffs. Whatever free time I have right now is reserved for my too soon review class.. hayst. im so furious.
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anyways, this site is better with explorer.
try to look at it.
http://ncline.blogspot.com
Woman’s Instinct
A
lady friend of mine was having an argument with her boyfriend…and
being a pinoy nasa roots q n ata ang mkitsismis..nd besides best friend
q dn kz ang sangkot..the story? (She would not forgive me telling
…peace out bru!) Because of a simple text made of a girl to her bf..and
when she ask her bf what was that girls txt all about (this was the
girl txt like: pde b tau mit?miss yah!:)) the guy explained. To make my
story short, they ended up having a huge fight tlg.. I relate myself to
my girlfriend kz I myself didn’t even know dn how to react if ever I
caught my boyfriend having an affair with another girl.. But I don’t
know..i was surprise for I believe of what everything told by the bf..i
guess my instinct tell me so..and knowing nrn kz my girl friend of
being a bit paranoid mostly about things around her..i can tell.. Some
say a womans instinct will never can’t go wrong and in my friends’
part, it’s her instinct dn db? So now im confused… it really amazed
me knowing how love can work in this world..it such a powerful thing!
And im thankful because of that same reason there now back into each
others arms… (Mushy, mushy!!!) good thing! I don’t have to be “madame
auring” or a clown just to make her feel better.. Sometimes kz we tend
to forget those most valuable things in this world..and hanap p tau ng
hanap nasa atin n pala..kaya payo q lang minsan..feel… don’t think! And
its not just those woman have instinct’s right..its in..all of us!it
can go wrong too..but that’s life!so make most out of it nalang!..:)
Goodbye, my almostLover.
Your
fingertips across my skin. The palm trees swaying in the wind Images.
You sang me Spanish lullabies. The sweetest sadness in your eyes.
Clever trick.
We
walked along a crowded street. You took my hand and danced with me.
Images. And when you left, you kissed my lips. You told me you would
never, never forget these images. Well I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you’d want the same for me.
I
cannot go to the ocean. I cannot drive the streets at night. I cannot
wake up in the morning, without you on my mind. So you’re gone and I’m
haunted. And I bet you are just fine. Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover.
Goodbye,
my hopeless dream. I’m trying not to think about you. Can’t you just
let me be?. So long, my luckless romance. My back is turned on you.
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache, almost lovers always do..
by A Fine Frenzy.
[i hate to love this song. nd i want it to be otherwise.]
ha ha ha ha
when I saw you at the grocery store, you were sharing a shopping cart with her and I couldn’t turn and run away. I didn’t know what to say. you introduced us for the first time and I had to look her in the eye but you could not imagine my surprise, can’t you see? you’re leaving me? for an ugly girl.
does she talk about politics? and all the stuff that used to make me sick. does she smoke cigars and stay up late? oh she’s so great! does she tell you what you want to hear? and I bet that she can grow a beard. I’d feel better thinking you were queer.
it’s not fair! I can’t compare.. to an ugly girl
it’s not fair! I can’t compare.. to an ugly girl
ha ha ha the jokes on me. I feel jealous and I feel mean. is she so nice that it makes up for her face? there’s no way.. do you have to keep your eyes closed? do you have to keep the lights down low? oh I bet you wish you had a blindfold.
can’t you see?
you’re leaving me, for an ugly girl. for an ugly girl. she’s an ugly girl. a real ugly girl..
la la la la..
guys song nga pla yan..haha!
ugly girl by fleming and john
vanila sky.
no. it was evening. late dark sky.
something was on my mind. i had been thinking of it a lot lately and before i knew what i was doing, i spoiled the quiet moment and blurted out, "Panu nga kung naging tayo..?". It was him originally keep on asking me that question somewhere between that day earlier. i didnt reply to any. I struggle to laugh hard soon after, to again put on my mask. It was easy to be very unplanned. Im such a pro and I hate it.. He then laugh with me. We laughed uncontrollably for minute (or was it?i dont know..) on end.
After laughing particularly hard, a silence settled over the two of us. Neither of us felt the urge to say anything. Nothing needed to be said though. And it was way off better.
silence still. I was having a hard time looking at him. So i kept my eyes on the path in front of me instead. "Bye." I felt like a little part of me was broken inside saying that word (or was I the one who said it? cant remember..), as our fingers brushed, entwined and at the last moment decided to let go..
Watcing him go, I couldnt help but feel like I was losing him at that very moment..forever. As he take his ride home and disappeard from my sight. I told myself again that no one ever said it would be easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.
seeing him that night, I tried to memorize every detail about him.. Thinking maybe one day, I would forget. And that would be the day I’ll know I had trully lost him. Or maybe, just maybe..
like what in the line from the movie vanilla sky said:
"maybe in another life when we are both cats.."
I can be braver. and where we can both be..
recent
its been a decade!
since i last visited this other world of mine.. sobrang namiss ko tlg ang friendster! multiply, blogger, atbp.. hmm.. bkit nga ba? well, super enenjoy q ang pagtulog sking kwarto..ahaha!
hmm..pero ang saya..graduate na! i can finally breath..for now lang..plans? wah! madami..biglaan, me work naq.. pero basta! 4mos from now..ill have clear plans n tlg… march! konti nlng..
i miss school..i miss straying..wah! i miss my friends.. :[
rainydays and mondays..
"Talking to myself and feeling old..
Sometimes Id like to quit, Nothing ever seems to fit..
Hangin around, nothing to do but frown,
Rainy days and mondays always get me down..
What Ive got they used to call the blues..
Nothing is really wrong, Feeling like I dont belong..
Walking around some kind of lonely clown,
Rainy days and mondays always get me down.."
———————————————————————————— i hate rainy days and most mondays.. today is Monday. and i havent done any interests me yet, as i tried to fish out some excess thoughts in me, the realization of todays being monday bump in. mondays, give me the feeling of ‘there has to do something’ guilt, like, its a deal of starting your week right but in my case, ending up not accomplishing any.. as i stared to the blank walls and ceiling of my room, i felt suddenly empty and sad. "when did i start hating mondays anyway?" i silently ask myself. "just today.." my inner voice followed. when this particular song from the ‘carpenters’ cross my mind, it just concluded the reason why i have this inner debate in me especially on mondays.. ‘Rainy days and Mondays always get me down..’
.. when?
If elephants could fly I’d be a little more optimistic
But I don’t see that happening anytime soon
I don’t mean to sound so pessimistic
But I don’t think that cow really jumped over the moon
When will I wake up?
Why did we break up?
When will we make up?
I’d love to wake up smiling-full of the joys of spring
And hear on CNN that Elvis lives again
And that John’s back with the Beatles and they’re going out on tour
I’ll be the first in line for tickets-gotta see that show for sure
When money grows on trees?
People live in peace?
Everyone agrees..
When happiness is free?
Love can guarantee,
You’ll come back to me.. that’s when.
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this was my old buddy [kya' gorilla] favorite song way back high skul days. then, i dont even bother to fully listen to it, but just recently, (last week, i think?) as i peerred to the old files of cd left unnoticed to the dark corner of our sala, i found this cd from shania twain. i feel suddenlly tuned up to listen to songs popularized by her then. weird cause after hearing the song "when", i feel like liking and loving the song for the firs time ( a sense of missing that old buddy of mine.. )
hmmm.. when? just when?
